Existence

Existence...
Why we need it..
Why we desperately want to be appear
Why we want so much that people recognize our present...
"Hei, i'm here, look at me !"
Try to proof something that can make us exist !

What if we don't have to be appear..
Why can we just like the air...
Air is not appear, you cann't see it
If you don't take sometimes to feel it,
you don't even realize that it's all around and exist...
But we need it...we cannot live without it...

Air no need to be appear, but no living one can live without it...
Like they said that being exist, it doesn't have to be appear...
It's just enough for the One now that you're here, exist...

I'm what i am, i'm the air....
Exept your self, you'll be exist...

welcome back

Setengah tahun kemandekan,
Setengah tahun terabaikan...
Setengah tahun mencoba mencari, dan akhirnya menemukan
Horaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiii bloggerku aktif lagi....
Akhirnya aku mengingat ID & Passwordku ! And Voila....

Selamat datang kembali diriku...silahkan menumpahkan kerinduanmu untuk berkata-kata, padamu, padanya dan pada mereka...

Bekerja

Bekerja itu seharusnya dengan sungguh-sungguh,
Bersungguh-sungguhlah dalam mempelajarinya, dalam menghayatinya,
dalam mempisuhinya (menyumpahi), bersungguh sungguhlan dalam menangisinya

Agar supaya kau mengerti bagaimana mengatasinya saat susah,
Merayakannya saat kau berhasil berjuang atasnya,
dan memilikinya sebagai bagian hidupmu.

Lakukanlah dengan segenap hatimu seperti kau bekerja untuk Sang Pencipta,
Agar setiap keluhan, pujian, makian yang datang, dalam prosesmu bersamanya
akan menghiasi hidupmu dan membuatmu kaya, membuatmu tangguh, membuatmu tahan uji dan tahan kritikan bahkan makian.

Jangan hanya menunggu seseorang memerintahmu !
Come one...you have a brain, use it to think, you're human, right ? You're not a freakin' zombie !!

Sadarlah, apa yang kau kerjakan akan berdampak terhadap pekerjaan orang lain.
Sayang, mestinya kau pintar,...sayang, kau terlalu malas menggunakan otakmu untuk berpikir...
Sayang, berpikir itu kebutuhan, seperti halnya bernafas, berpikir menjadikan kamu manusia !
Jadi berpikirlah, bahkan sampai kepalamu sakit seperti dihujani seribu pisau...
tapi percayalah...semua tidak akan sia-sia....

Jadi sekali lagi...berpikirlah...berpikirlah...jangan hanya terima perintah jadi...arrrggggghhhhh
Kau membuat pekerjaanku bertambah banyak..huhuhuhuhu

If tomorrow never come

Sms...!
Memang kata-katamu indah...
(Kenapa juga aku harus marah pada dunia,...?? *balasku)
Tapi itu tidak akan mengobati kekecewaanku padamu..
Kita kan sudah merencanakannya jauh-jauh hari, toh... ? Mestinya...dia mempersiapkannya dengan baik....

Suara 1 : "Memangnya...dia tidak ingin bertemu denganku dulu, sebelum kepergiannya yang cukup lama itu ?"

Suara 2: "Aaaaah, mungkin itu tidak penting baginya. Yang penting baginya sekarang ini...adalah...kau tau lah."

Suara 1: "Tapi ini penting bagiku...seandainya dia cukup cerdas untuk mengetahuinya...*sigh...Sepertinya aku harus MENGERTI...Bagaimana kalau esok tidak akan pernah datang.... ?"

Suara 2: *Tertawa keras...lakukan yang terbaik yang bisa kau lakukan pada hari ini...itu saja..."

Suara 1 & 2 : *tersenyum

Tiff kecil

*Well, tulisan ini mestinya sudah dipublish lama sekali, gua gak tau kenapa jadinya cuman draft ! Tapi tetap menirik kalau inget kisah ini...and i miss lil Tiff now

Pagi ini...
Aku kembali bersama Tiff kecil...
Setelah perpisahan yang lebih tenang dengan maminya....
Akhirnya hanya tinggal kami berdua di ruangan itu

Tiff kecil masih mengangis...
Hmmm...padahal sudah ketiga kalinya kami menghabiskan minggu pagi bersama, kududukkan dia di meja bundar dalam ruangan besar itu, aku duduk hadapannya sambil kakinya menumpu pada pahaku.
Dan aku berbicara dengan kata-kata yang sama dengannya pagi ini
"No, Tiff"
"Stop, Tiff."
"It's ok, Tiff."
"Wait mami here with tante Upi, Tiff"
And she's still crying !!!

Hmmmm...apa lagiiiii ya ??? Jurus apalagi yang harus aku keluarkan agar dia tenang dan diam
Pelan-pelan rasa bosanku mulai muncul...seiring dengan tangisan monoton disertai batuk-batuk kecilnya. Kesabaranku mulai terkikis....

*Sigh

Ditengah kebosananku...aku mulai memperhatikan gadis mungil yang basah dengan keringat karena terus menangis ini
Hmmm rambut tipisnya diikat dua dengan hiasan bola-bola kontras berwana Hijau terang...padahal waktu itu dia manis sekali dengan baju putih tanpa lengan, rok jeans dengan hiasan rendanya. Duh kak Yeni ( Tiff's mom) kenapa musti warna hijau terang sih Kak, kenapa tidak warna biru atau putih saja.

Mata kecilnya yang hitam memandangku, kamu bertatapan tanpa berkata-kata lagi, mulutnya yang kecil mengeluarkan tangisan dengan interval yang sudah mulai jarang, walau terlihat jelas sekali keinginannya tetap berkeras agar dia boleh menemui mamanya di bawah. Tangan mungil, jari gemuk...pipi merah tembam.
Hmmm kau menggemaskan sekali Tiff kecil...tapi kenapa kau tidak mau diam, sayang ???
Kuulurkan tanganku, dia menyambut tangganku...aku peluk dia...aku elus punggungnya...

Hei...kataku dalam hati saat memeluknya...nggak heran dia menagis terus...bajunya sudah basah kuyup...!!!
Aku berlari ke dalam kelas mengambil tas bekalnya...pastinya ibunya menyiapkan baju ganti.
Aku ganti baju putihnya dengan kaos orange muda dan rok jeansnya dengan celana orang tua.
Whoala...dia diam...dan
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...aku tertawa keras dalam hati.

Yang kita butuhkan hanyalah sejenak tenang dan diam, mencoba mengerti, mengamati dan melihat segala sesuatu lebih dalam dan lebih dekat, lalu kemudian memaklumi dan memahaminya.

Sometimes eyes only see what it sees, but heart can see through the deepest part of the soul.

i need You here

I need you here...
you're like the rain that falls
fall on this heart and make me new

I look to you....
you're king king above the earth...
and you have put heaven in my heart...

I only want to bwe where you are....
holy is the Lord king of glory..
forever saviour of the world...

though mountains may be moved...
and fall into the raging seas...
you'll never let me fall....
you hold me in your nail-scared hands

Aspire

No never give up...
Aspire...
Believe...
Though the tide is high, go on...
Kiss the waves...
hold on
Needs are as much as you want what you need
Seeing is not believing
But believing is seeing...


(just a thought from someone...)

Serendipity

"Magic happens, if you let it; and sometimes even fate or destiny-- or whatever you want to call it-- steps in to lend a hand. But when it concerns love, and finding that special person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, should you risk tempting fate with a test of that love or what is seemingly meant to be, or should you just follow your apparent destiny and embrace it?"

Well-formed love banish fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearfull life is not yet fully formed in love

pure shore

I've crossed the deserts for miles
Swam water for the time
Searching places to find
A piece of something to call mine


Ran along many moors
Walked through many doors
The place where i wanna be
Is the place i can call mine


I'm movin', i'm comin'
Can you hear what i hear?
It's calling you my dear
Out of reach
...take me to my beach...
I can hear it calling you
I'm comin', not drowning
Swimming closer to you


Never been here before
I'm intrigued, i'm unsure
I'm searching for more
I've got something that's all mine


Take me somewhere i can breath,
I've got so much to see
This is where i wanna be
In a place i can call mine


Many faces i have seen
Many places i have been
Walked deserts, swan shores
coming closer to you


Many faces i have known
Many way in which i've grown
Moving closer on my own
coming closer to you

I'm movin', i'm comin'
I'm comin', not drowning
take me to my beach........

the voice within

Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl it's alright
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly

When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

Young girl don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl just hold tight
Soon you're gonna see your brighter day
Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you look outside look inside to your soul

When there's no one else, look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way
You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within

Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know
Be strong
You'll break it
Hold on
You'll make it
Just don't forsake it because
No one can tell you what you can't do
No one can stop you, you know that I'm talking to you
Young girl don't cry I'll be right here when your world starts to fall

"The voice within" by Christina Aguilera

because of you

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

"Because of you" Kelly Clarkson

But as the time has passing by...i've forgiven you...